What if the way you think about wellness today has more to do with your childhood than you realize?
Most of us weren’t taught how to “do wellness.” We were taught how to survive. We learned whether rest was seen as lazy or essential. We watched how our caregivers handled stress, grief, or anger. We noticed whether emotions were talked about openly or buried under silence and busyness. And all of that—what we saw, felt, and internalized—became our unspoken blueprint for what “well-being” looks like.
As adults, many of us carry those early lessons into our lives, families, and even our workplaces. Sometimes we mimic what we saw. Sometimes we rebel against it. But we’re always shaped by it.
🧠 Childhood Lessons, Adult Patterns
Think back to being a kid:
- Were you encouraged to speak your truth?
- Did your caregivers prioritize mental health—or push through no matter what?
- Was rest celebrated or shamed?
- Did anyone ask how you were doing emotionally, not just physically or academically?
If your answer is no to most of those, you’re not alone. For many, wellness growing up meant a roof over your head, food on the table, and not much more. Emotions were often secondary. Healing wasn’t discussed. And self-care? That was a luxury, not a necessity.
So it makes sense that, as adults, we carry mixed feelings about slowing down, asking for help, or prioritizing joy.
🤔 “I Went Through It and I Turned Out Fine” vs. “I Don’t Want Anyone Else to Go Through That”
These are two very different survival mindsets. And both are rooted in pain.
- “I went through it and I turned out fine” is often a self-protective stance. It says: “What happened to me doesn’t need to be unpacked because I survived.” It’s a way to normalize hard experiences because revisiting them feels too vulnerable—or too late to change.
- “I went through it, and I want to make it better for others” is a generational healing stance. It says: “I know pain. I know what it costs. And I want to break that cycle.”
Both come from lived experience. One leans toward preservation. The other toward transformation.
If you’re reading this and feeling a pull toward shifting your mindset—good. That means you’re ready. It means you’re willing to ask the deeper questions about what wellness truly means for you and the people you love.
💫 5 Best Practices for Reframing Your Relationship with Wellness
Here are five heart-and-mind shifts to help you reimagine what wellness can look like—without judgment, without guilt.
1. Reflect on Your Wellness Story
Ask yourself: What messages did I get about rest, self-worth, emotions, and healing growing up?
Write them down. Then ask: Do I still believe these things? Are they serving me now?
Awareness is the first step toward unlearning.
2. Redefine Wellness for Yourself
Wellness isn’t just yoga and green smoothies. It’s boundaries. It’s being seen. It’s choosing joy without guilt.
Make your own definition. Try:
“Wellness means having space to feel and heal.”
“Wellness is how I care for myself, not just what I do.”
3. Notice When You Default to Survival Mode
Do you find yourself saying, “I don’t have time for this,” or “This is just how life is”?
Pause and ask: Is this belief rooted in past experiences or my current truth?
Let yourself choose differently when it feels safe to.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest & Feel
You’re allowed to rest before you’re burned out. You’re allowed to feel without apologizing.
Rest isn’t earned—it’s a right. Emotions aren’t weakness—they’re wisdom.
5. Practice Compassion for Yourself and Others
You may not have had models of wellness growing up, but you can become that model now.
Show grace to your past self. And extend grace to others who are still learning. This is a journey, not a race.
🧩 Final Thoughts: Healing Is Collective
The way we understand wellness isn’t just personal—it’s generational. The choices you make today ripple outward. When you shift your relationship with well-being, you’re not just healing yourself. You’re shaping what wellness will look like for your children, your community, and those around you.
We don’t have to accept that “because I went through it, they’ll be fine too.” We can say, “I went through it, and I want more for the people I love.”
🔥 Your Call to Action
Take one moment today to ask yourself:
What do I need to feel well?
Not to function. Not to perform.
But to feel whole.
Then take one small step toward that.
Wellness is not a finish line. It’s a rhythm. And you get to change the beat.
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